Z06Vette.com - Corvette Z06 Forum

**Black_Magic** · 08-08-2002, 06:47 PM

An Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40 and says to the driver, "got any ID?" The driver says, " 'Bout what?"

***

Two Mississippians are walking toward each other, and one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says, "Hey Tommy Ray, whatcha got in th' bag?" "Jes' some chickens."
"If I guesses how many they is, kin I have one?"
"Shoot, if ya guesses right, I'll give you both of 'em!"
"Okay......Ummmmmmm ....five?"

***

An Alabamian came home and found his house on fire. He rushed next door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry over here muh house is on fahr!" "Okay," replied the fireman. "How do we get there?" "Shucks, don't you fellers still have those big red trucks?"

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Why do folks in Kentucky go to R-rated movies in groups of 18 or more? Because they heard 17 and under aren't admitted.

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Ida Mae passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away. "Where do you live?" asked the operator. Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."
The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?" "How 'bout I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?"

***

Know why they raised the minimum drinking age in Alabama to 32? They wanted to keep alcohol out of the grade schools.

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What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Mississippi?
Documentaries.

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Where was the toothbrush invented?
Kentucky... If it were invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush.

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What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas, and a hurricane in Florida have in common? Either way, somebody's fixin' to lose a trailer.

**MikesZ06** · 08-08-2002, 07:01 PM

LMAO

**wvphoto** · 08-08-2002, 07:33 PM

what ...no west virginia jokes ?

ok....here's one..

what do you call sweat in west virginia ?.....RELATIVE Humidity !!!!!!

SilverZ · 08-08-2002, 08:22 PM

Z06XR · 08-08-2002, 09:50 PM

Hey Black

The Z present some unique problems for us southerners.

I can usually get the wife and 4 kids in the car but we have to leave the dogs behind.

On the roads the dirt sorta mounds up between the ruts and scrapes the air dam all to hell.

When we dress up to go out the metal buttons on our overalls tends to screw up the seats.

Those metal pedals hurt your bare feet.

No place to put a trailer hitch.

That cup we use when we have a chaw keeps fallin outa that cupholder thingy.

That open trunk is nice but just doesn't seem to hold enough empty beer cans.

FROM THE SUNNY SOUTH WHERE THE HOUSES ARE ON WHEELS AND THE CARS ARE ON BLOCKS.

sigung86 · 08-09-2002, 02:44 AM

STOP IT!!!!

You guys are killin' me!!!!!!

Dan

VettTheRipper · 08-09-2002, 03:26 AM

OK, so if a couple gets married in Florida, then move to Georgia and get divorced....are they still legally brother and sister?

getinofficer · 08-09-2002, 04:16 AM

LMAO

I heard some before but, not all. These are classic. All my Texas friends better look out...I am armed...with the truth.

Dragon · 08-09-2002, 08:00 AM

Three contractors were touring the White House on the same day. One was from New York, another from Missouri, and the third from Florida. At the end of the tour, the guard asked them what they did for a living. when they each replied that they were contractors, the guard said, "Hey we need one of the rear fences redone. Why don't you guys take a look at it and give me your bids."

First, the Florida contractor took out his tape measure and pencil, did some measuring and said, "I figure the job will run about $900 -- $400 for materials, $400 for my crew, and $100 profit for me."

Next was the Missouri contractor. He also took out his tape measure and pencil, did some quick calculations and said, "Looks like I can do this job for $700 -- $300 for materials, $300 for my crew, and $100 profit for me."

Finally, the guard asks the New York contractor for his bid. Without batting an eye, the contractor says, "$2,700."

The guard, incredulous, looks at him and says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"

"Easy," says the contractor from New York, "$1,000 for me, $1,000 for you, and we hire the guy from Missouri."

drpipes · 08-09-2002, 09:05 AM

Why do Tennessee fans wear orange?
Saturday go to the game.
Sunday go huntin'.
Monday go back to work on the highway crew.

RobSan · 08-09-2002, 12:23 PM

What has 48 feet and three teeth?

The front row at a Willie Nelson concert.

Wingnut · 08-09-2002, 12:43 PM

I'm at work trying to eat my lunch...wasn't even going to read this thread... was just going to browse through the car "stuff"...well I clicked and read anyway...I almost choked on my sandwich reading these...good stuff guys!!! Of course I am a Tennessee football fan...that one hurt a little! hehehehe!!!

getinofficer · 08-09-2002, 01:15 PM

Wingnut,

That is a great name.

That is what my Pa used to call me when I would screw something up. Don't know why he used Wingnut...I just think it was the first non-curse word that came to mind.

Wingnut · 08-09-2002, 02:55 PM

Yea it was actually a joke from work when I moved from Excecutive Protection to manage our Hangar in our Aviation Dept. One of the guys called me wingnut one day so it came to mind when I wanted to post and most of the creative "Z06 related" names were already taken... I was in a hurry and figured no one on this site knew me anyway. When I was in the Marines wingnut was actually what we referred to guys in the Air Force as.

drpipes · 08-09-2002, 05:11 PM

Wingnut, sorry about the joke. Since I am an Auburn fan the only way to get you guys is off the field! The Vols kick ass.