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Old 11-22-2002, 06:36 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Wife, wife, wife (joke)

Subject: wife wife wife



1. My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way.

2. My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

3. A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

4. I bought my wife a new car. She called and said,
"There was water in the carburetor." I asked her ,
"Where's the car?" She replied, "In the lake."

5. The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

6. After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You
know, I was a fool when I married you." The husband
replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."

7. When a man steals your wife, there is no better
revenge than to let him keep her.

8. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't
like to Interrupt her.

9. My girlfriend told me I should be more
affectionate. So I got myself two girlfriends.

10. A man said his credit card was stolen but he
decided not to report it since the thief was spending
much less than his wife did.

11. Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.

12. A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much
does it cost to get married?" The father replied, "I
don't know son, I'm still paying."

13. Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of
Africa a Man doesn't know his wife until he marries
her. Dad: That happens in every country, son.

14. Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what
real happiness was until I got married; then it was too late.

15. A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife
wanted." The next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same : "You can have mine."

16. A woman was telling her friend, "I made my husband
a millionaire." "And what was he before you married
him?" asked the friend. "A billionaire." she replied.

17. Marriage is the triumph of imagination over
intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope
over experience.

18. It's not true that married men live longer than
single men. It only seems longer.

19. Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was
almost impossible.

20. Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would
go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

21. A successful man is one who makes more money than
his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can
find such a man.

22. A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can
ask for whatever he wants, But his mother-in-law gets
double of what he gets. The man thinks for a moment
and says,"Okay, give me a million dollars And beat me
till I'm half dead."

23. Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for
marriage. They've experienced pain and bought
jewellery.

24. The most effective way to remember your wife's
birthday is to forget it once.

25. First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second
guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive.
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Old 11-22-2002, 06:53 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Mike, Those are good, I'm still laughing, but i'm not showing the wife. Ted
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Old 11-22-2002, 06:56 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Old 11-22-2002, 06:59 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I'm with Pennington!

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Old 11-22-2002, 07:13 PM   #5 (permalink)
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My wife e-mailed those to me. I think it was a test.
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Old 11-22-2002, 07:30 PM   #6 (permalink)
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LMAO..........

Thanks

George
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Old 11-23-2002, 05:22 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Good one. Bill
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Old 12-14-2012, 01:26 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Re: Wife, wife, wife (joke)

Man these are great...Just Discovered...long known most of them are true :D

Quote:
Originally Posted by JTBear View Post
Subject: wife wife wife



1. My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way.

2. My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

3. A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

4. I bought my wife a new car. She called and said,
"There was water in the carburetor." I asked her ,
"Where's the car?" She replied, "In the lake."

5. The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

6. After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You
know, I was a fool when I married you." The husband
replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."

7. When a man steals your wife, there is no better
revenge than to let him keep her.

8. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't
like to Interrupt her.

9. My girlfriend told me I should be more
affectionate. So I got myself two girlfriends.

10. A man said his credit card was stolen but he
decided not to report it since the thief was spending
much less than his wife did.

11. Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.

12. A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much
does it cost to get married?" The father replied, "I
don't know son, I'm still paying."

13. Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of
Africa a Man doesn't know his wife until he marries
her. Dad: That happens in every country, son.

14. Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what
real happiness was until I got married; then it was too late.

15. A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife
wanted." The next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same : "You can have mine."

16. A woman was telling her friend, "I made my husband
a millionaire." "And what was he before you married
him?" asked the friend. "A billionaire." she replied.

17. Marriage is the triumph of imagination over
intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope
over experience.

18. It's not true that married men live longer than
single men. It only seems longer.

19. Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was
almost impossible.

20. Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would
go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

21. A successful man is one who makes more money than
his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can
find such a man.

22. A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can
ask for whatever he wants, But his mother-in-law gets
double of what he gets. The man thinks for a moment
and says,"Okay, give me a million dollars And beat me
till I'm half dead."

23. Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for
marriage. They've experienced pain and bought
jewellery.

24. The most effective way to remember your wife's
birthday is to forget it once.

25. First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second
guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive.
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Old 12-23-2012, 07:23 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Re: Wife, wife, wife (joke)

A little wisdom, many truths, and some humor...but what would we do without them?
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Old 12-23-2012, 10:51 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Re: Wife, wife, wife (joke)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bullettrain View Post
A little wisdom, many truths, and some humor...but what would we do without them?
Porn and personal lube would go a long way.
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Old 12-25-2012, 07:33 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Posts: 57
Re: Wife, wife, wife (joke)

Perhaps that suffices in Georgia, but someone has to shovel the driveway here...
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