Feel terrible. Depression

[KINGPIN]

Since December I have not been myself. Full of sadness, indifference, anger, not belonging.................geez. Not looking for pity, just......I don't know.
I refuse to get professional help cause I still think it's just a rut.

I have absolutely no drive, to accomplish anything right now, I am satisfied to be 32 and live at home with the parents(sad), I do work and pay rent as I am not a freeloader. I actually moved back to help pay the bills.

I use the term family loosely.
Social life is non-existent.
Feel real lonely and alone.
Don't care about anything or anyone anymore.

Am I depressed?

I have tried to ask this every month for the past few months but just feel real stupid asking.

I used to strive to make something of myself, owned my own bars, clubs, and other ventures.
Now.......I just feel like I've been beaten so many times I don't want to get back up anymore.

This sucks ass big time.

Mike

btw I have confirmed "loneliness" is the most evil word in the english dictionary.

p.s. say what you want. consider this no holds barred on Mike. won't take it personally.

p.s.s. if a mod wants to delete this, go for it.

[MikesZ06]

Mike, I'm no psychiatrist but I suspect that most people go through this stage at some point in their life. Doesn't make it better but perhaps at least you won't feel like a solo act.

My advice, get laid, get drunk and then find something (hobby, vice, anything) that makes you feel excited again.

Also, unless your parents are in poor health and need you at home....get the hell out of there. I can't imagine anything more depressing than living at home with my parents (whether I paid rent or not). The loss of personal space and the loss of that independence you have by living on your own has got to be a contributing factor.

Anyway, take this for what it is worth. What the hell do I know about it

Mike

[ZO6 AL-X]

I agree with admin Mike - everyone has highs and lows. You have to balance all the things you do. How about taking a vacation? Maybe you've been working a long period without a break? Go out and hang out with your buddies. Invest time in something you like. Maybe you like watching sports with friends at your local sports bar? Maybe you like basketball? You put time into work, so you should do the same with other things - friends, singles bars, hobbies, etc. Did you break up with a gf? Something happen with work or investment opportunities? Talking about the problem is part of getting it out of your system. You have to get things out of your system.

Feel free to ask us for feedback on things you'd like to do.

Hope this helps,

Alex

[geezin56]

Mike -
Keep your chin up. Everyone's situation is somewhat different, but I think it's safe to say that there are quite a few of us that can relate, at least part, to what you're going through. No shame in feeling down. All the best...

[Zippy]

Hope I can add some insight to your post....and help you. How? Because I've been there. Yes, I suffered from severe clinical depression. Depression is an illness, affecting the body, mind, and emotions. It is NOT a character flaw, personal weakness, or lack of discipline. It is curable. Remember that, it is curable.

Common signs of depression: no feeling of emotion, loss of weight, can not sleep, or oversleeping (always tired), loss of interest in everything, loss of appetite, can't concentrate on anything (such as reading a short story), fear of normal everyday occurences, loss of sex drive, feeling worthless. There's others but those come to mind right off.

I missed about 2 months of work and never felt so horrible. Did not want to eat, no ambition to do anything, paranoid. I was a walking zombie, that didn't even want to leave the house. Family Doctor suggested starting on Zoloft, and getting professional help. The thought of seeing a Psychiatrist scared me. Will I get put into a mental hsopital (No, that was never considered, but in my mind it might happen)? Will I be labeled "crazy"? No, that never happened either.

First Psychiatrist I saw I didn't like, found another and almost quit going...BUT, I perservered and kept going. That Doctor was Rosemary Dykema, and she will forever have a special place in my heart. Why? (1) Dr Dykema prescribed the correct medication and continued my therapy to see me thru my illness, during which time she lost her husband to illness, and was herself dying from Cancer. Yes, she put my problems ahead of her personal issues, including knowing she was dying. I learned so, so much from her.

Many people over use the term depression, when they feel sad. Depression is 24/7 365 days a year. Some cases are mild, others severe. It's a chemical imbalance within the brain. It's curable, but one usually needs professional help.

I can't tell if your suffering from depression, but please, please, see a qualified Psychologist or Psychiatrist. A Psychiatrist is first a medical Doctor, who has continued their education to get the degree, and can prescribe meds.

I don't want to scare you....I want to help.

Send me a pm and we can exchange phone numbers..if you like.
I'm here for you.

Tony

[Chris Holmes]

Been through depression myself, and it's no fun. Suffered with it for several years. The best thing to do, you already did, and that is talk about it with friends. Nothing worse than keeping it to yourself (which I did for years). The cure is different for everyone. You've got to find what 'floats your boat' and keep doing it. I tried all the SSRI medication stuff; Paxel, Zoloft, Effexor XR..., but they made me worse to be honest. My advice would be to see your doctor and also join some online self help groups (there are lots). Also read some books on the subject. It helps when you realize you are not alone.

You can beat depression. I did. Very best of luck. Give me a shout if you need to talk

[GR8 WHITE]

Hey buddy. I just turned 40, have spent most of my adult life away from family while serving in the Army. My decisions have cost me unreplaceable time away from family and friends. Demanding schedules and unbelievable work hours. IN teh last year I have had so mnay issues with my car, finances, etc.... I know, at times, we feel the world is heavily upon us and what did we do to deserve the way we feel. Depressed, alone, unworthy, etc....

My sincere words of encouragement are simply....

"Don't give up".....

Many of us been through some trying times. Many do not know, but I have a daughter who I never see and it just crushes me. Inside, I am distraught and torn apart. On the surface, I act as if nothing is wrong. In the last 3 years, I lost 5 loved ones. My Dad, my Grandmother, Step-Dad, Grandfather, and someone I used to date. My mother is not doing so well, and I am afraid teh inevitable is sneaking up on me and I will one day get the bad news phone call. And although living at home at your age might not be favorable to the greater percentage, I would give anything to turn back the hands of time to spend more time with my parents. See, my parents divorced when I was 12, and it devastated me. To this day, I wish there was something, anything, I could do to have one more day with my parents.

Some had very nice suggestions to just get away. Take a well needed vacation and do something positive and rewarding for yourself. When I left Germany, I used/burnt/enjoyed/wasted 29 days of leave visiting my Mom in Florida. I did absolutelty nothing but watch DVDs and eat food. I got irritated with my Mom on several occasions but you know what? You can't replace the lost time or take anything back, later on when its too late.

So, if you feel you need professional help, by all means, please do so. But if you just need to vent, we are here for you!

Keep your head up buddy.....

[KINGPIN]

Thanks to everyone. I just got home and was thinking about asking to have this thread removed. It seems just wrong to put this out there.
But I guess it is what it is.

Someone mentioned talking about it so I will give a little backround, with not so much detail.
My relationship with my parents is more like having a couple friends. Not close at all and have always been the black sheep in the family.
Other family=no one really.
Business wise I have made lots of money and lost lots. It's the nature of the game I guess. I'm on the flip side lately unfortunately. Confidence and drive to make something out of nothing is totally gone.
Living at home sucks. Yup. I figure if I stay home I can buy a house in a couple years. If I leave and rent somewhere, I'm on the 5 year plan.
Girlfriend. haha. Let's just say someone I liked more than any other person I have met in my life, and who means so much to me............didn't work. I guess Cameo was right a while ago, with the age she is(19) me (32) too much to get over.
Zippy description of someone going through depression sent shivers down my back. I've lost 70lbs in just under a year(320-250), sleep patterns are non existent, escept whe I have a day off and cant get out of my bed. The feeling of not caring, actually just being indifferent is nothing to write home about. I've been told of 2 deaths lately and a friend of mine won some large cash at a casino. I reacted and felt the same way when I heard both stories.

On the other hand I can become an emotional wreck in a matter of seconds. Self pity which I consider to be a weak point of anybody has taken over my head. What if's, and why me have become instilled in my brain and can't shake them loose.

I just down know anything anymore and what really scares me is I feel like I want to give a crap about the future, but something has taken over my mind and couldn't care less anymore.

Wow. I'm just all over the place. Incomplete thoughts are running wild. Sorry for not making much sense.

Honestly, I feel like I want to crawl into a hole and just hide. A place where I can't hurt others and they can't hurt me.
I've hurt a lot of people in my life and live with it everyday I wake up. I guess it's my turn.
Living a life of self destruction is a real bitch.

[jub jub]

This is my view and sorry if it offends, but I have been down this road many times so I feel I know a little about the subject.

Find someone in the world who is worse off than you and help them.

Sometimes we focus on "us" too much and, if we're not meeting our expectations then we fall into self-pity and depression. The fact is, we, as human beings are not designed to just take care of ourselves, but for others as well. That is why there are so many charitable orginaztions in the world. If we we're a society of just helping ourselves then we would be a very sad race indeed and I suspect the world would not be a very hospitable place to live.

I have been where you have been many times and the thing that always brings me out of it is to help someone else. It doesn't have to be monetary, but can be a helping hand. Surely you have some talent that can be used to benefit someone, somewhere. If you look hard enough, I'm sure you will find someone that can use your help.

Whatever you do, don't turn to prescribed drugs. My mother did and they killed her at 66. Your body needs endorphins and helping someone will help produce them, in abundance! And like others have said, a thrill seeking hobby can also do the job but is probably not as rewarding.

If you want to talk personal, send me a PM.

[wvphoto]

get out and walk.. ride a bike.. fresh "cold" air for you..

kick boxing.. get your blood pumping..

i took up mountain biking and feel sooo much better..
and lost some .. a lot.. of weight.

[jub jub]

Originally Posted by wvphoto

get out and walk.. ride a bike.. fresh "cold" air for you..

kick boxing.. get your blood pumping..

i took up mountain biking and feel sooo much better..
and lost some .. a lot.. of weight.

OK, what have you done with the real Mikey?

[MikesZ06]

Damn, seeing a photo of someone as ugly as that would depress me too


Mike

[bean]

Unbelievable...What wonderful responses for someone in need. You folks out there really are top of the line. Even though I don't know any of you personally, I feel very fortunate to be associated with you on this forum. A big round for all the sage and heartfelt advice.:mug:

Okay, except Mike's last reply.

[wvphoto]

look at the BIG lens on that boy.. LOL
it zooms when needed.. and has its own carrying case..

[FiveOJoe]

Sent you a PM