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1,213 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·

US: Stickers for contingency
THEM: Stickers for extra horsepower

US: 600 hp on 92-octance pump gas
THEM: 300 hp on $3-a-gallon 100-octane race gas

US: Swapping stock 14-inch wheels for 17's to clear trick brakes and suspension
THEM: Swapping stock 14-inch wheels for 20's despite stock brakes and suspension

US: Boost guage on a blown car, nitrous guage on a squeezed car
THEM: Both guages on a normally aspirated car

US: 500 lb-ft of torque at 3,500 rpm
THEM: 50 lb-ft of torque at 35,000 rpm

US: 600 hp makes for an earth-shaking street car
THEM: 600 watts per channel makes for an ear-shattering street car

US: Headers and 3-inch exhaust
THEM: Stock pea-shooter exhaust pipe with 5-inch tip

US: Buying an after-market shifter for shorter throws
THEM: Buying an after-market shifter for the lighted knob

US: Keeping a low profile and letting e.t.'s tell the story
THEM: Hoping the outrageous body kit will distract anyone from discussing e.t.'s

US: Sideways into third gear
THEM: Sideways to avoid high-centering on a speed bump

US: Tall spindle conversion for better camber gain and tire wear
THEM: Lowering 3 inches and ruining tires with 4 degrees of negative camber

US: Composite parts for light weight and aerodynamics
THEM: Composite veneer dash trim and guages

US: Upgrading to a 9-inch 'cause you keep braking stock rears
THEM: Realizing your built motor will keep breaking half-shafts forever

US: Functional air ducts to cool the big-block
THEM: Six different "cosmetic" air dams in random locations

US: Polising tail-light lenses to bring out the red color
THEM: Installing clear tailights to bait cops

US: Cruising and burnout contests at car shows
THEM: Disco-dancing and stereo competitions at car shows

US: Old-tech pushrod Chevy LS6 pushing 405 hp
THEM: State-of-the-art, dual overhead cam Honda VTEC pushing 180 hp

US: Race-class lettering on the rear window
THEM: Japanese "Honda" lettering on the rear window of a Nissan

US: Tach mounted on the dash, in the driver's line of sight
THEM: Bobbing-head doll mounted on the dash, in the driver's line of sight

US: Nitrous oxide
THEM: "Noss"

US: Installing a 12-point cage after breaking into the 11's
THEM: Installing a 12-poing cage for more places to mount guages

US: Feeling the car shake from a lumpy cam
THEM: Feeling the car shake from the booming bass

US: Comfy stock bucket seats on a 9-second street car
THEM: Back-breaking fiberglass racing buckets on a 17-second street car

US: Spending $2000 to get a new Z28 into the 11's
THEM: Spending $10,000 to get a Civic in the 12's

US: Leaving on the third amber light at the strip
THEM: Blowing through red lights on the street

US: Doing a short burnout to warm the tires before a pass
THEM: Weaving from side to side 'cause NASCAR racers do it

US: Showing off a 500 hp dyno sheet
THEM: Boasting that their 150 hp mill makes more hp per liter

US: Installing subframe connectors to stiffen the chassis
THEM: Connecting the subframes with neon lights

US: Annoying blind spot caused by the cowl induction hood
THEM: Annoying blind spot caused by limo-tinted windows and triple rear deck wing

4,151 Posts
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

I wish I was talented enough to come up with funny lines for windsheild wiper spoilers, and those neon tube lights :)

1,264 Posts
Pert Funny!
We all should count our blessings that we have factory 405hp and they don't. Good thing not everyone can be so fortunate.

one more please,

US: well contoured body with least amount of drag coefiecant(sp?)

THEM: an aftermarket four ft. high rear spoiler on Tercels with top speed of 85

Dad rest his sole...
An ol' joke from Dad, "A ruh, a ruh, get way from tat wheelbarow leroy, u nows u nows nothin bout machinery".

1,264 Posts
have a prety good e-mail sent to me today
titled >>>>>>> "Need a new Car?" Forum
for all to enjoy, and bet most Corvette Owners would , will be posting this soon, if not sooner.

3,834 Posts
If I still had a 280z ... It would be rolling over in its grave ... If it were dead...:D
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