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...your tray table is stowed and locked in position. Your seatback should be in it’s most laid back and reclined position. Please engage your 5-point harness holdin’ your ars, along with your shoulders, and your legs, and your torso in place. Do not remove your helmet for any reason, unless we are at a complete stop, and the vehicle’s engine is not running. All personal items, no matter how small, including cells phones; should be stowed in the provided lockable compartments. Any projectile, regardless of size, can be very dangerous at speed. Please remember that taking deep, sharp breaths in between your teeth or pressing hard on the floorboard with your right foot will not affect the vehicle’s path or speed or width in any form, way, or fashion. Please inform the captain, assuming you can speak; if you wish to disembark because of motion sickness, distorted vision, headache, graying or reding out, teeth or tongue displacement, fear, sphincter failure or for any other reason. For your convenience we will take 4-minute pit stops approximately every 90 –100 miles [unless refueling is required sooner] and tire replacement stops [approximately every 500 miles] will take approx. 10 minutes. We are scheduled to arrive at our destination really frickin’ swiftly and hopefully, not in handcuffs. Please sit back, relax, &

Just hang on, and let gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
 
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